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The Art of Attainable Goals: Transforming Resolutions into Results

Resolution-making is a common activity at the beginning of a new year. Yet, often we make unrealistic goals, or too many to manage, and soon run out of steam to keep going. Then we feel guilty or that we’ve failed. NO ONE wants to feel the emotions of failure or guilt, especially when trying to improve. Below are some ways to make resolution-making more successful.

Choose something to work on that truly matters to you

Most resolutions have to do with improving exercise, losing weight, or other general categories. While these things may matter to you, the goals may not be SPECIFIC enough to actually state what’s meaningful to YOU. Is it improved health, losing 10 lbs. of fat (not pounds), feeling more energy, or overall well-being? In three to six months, what would you like to have been different in your life? How would you like to feel? What would you like to have accomplished that matters in the long run?

How does one decide what truly matters? Choose those things that will last, that have significance, and that means something to you personally. The meaningful goal may be to create more time to experience fun with your kids, or a few minutes a day by yourself just sitting quietly. Will accomplishing your chosen goal change your life, even in small ways, for the better? Does it fit with your values and priorities? What could be the consequences of NOT accomplishing this goal now? What could be the consequences of accomplishing this goal now?

Once you’ve taken the time to really think about what matters most to you, and how achieving or not achieving it may impact your life and the lives of those you love, pick the goal(s) that mean the most to you NOW.

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Make your resolution(s) realistic and achievable

Most of us set unrealistic goals. We see the big picture and want the prize at the end, but don’t have any idea what it will take to get there. I recently heard the story of how the new coach, of a British Cycling team that hadn’t won in nearly 100 yrs., improved his team by looking at specific aspects of their performance and improving it by just 1%. It’s okay to have big dreams, yet most of those dreams will be accomplished one step at a time – just 1% consistently.

Steps can be accomplished by CHUNKING – taking a large task and breaking it down into manageable pieces. For instance, to lose weight what are the tasks involved? It could be eating healthier, drinking more water, exercising more, or a myriad of other things, including making sure your hormones and other biological factors are in alignment. You may set a goal for step ONE of this task. PRACTICE this until you’ve got it down, and then add step 2. You don’t have to do it all at once, as this can often feel overwhelming and can lead to shutting down.

We also build upon previous tasks through PRACTICE. PRACTICE MAKES PERMANENT. Literally, the more you do something the more automatic it becomes in your brain, in your body, and in your behaviors. Just keep practicing the behaviors you want to make permanent, and eventually, they will be.

Notice your own efforts. For example, if you didn’t exercise in the month of December, but exercised once the first week of January, THAT’S PROGRESS. Notice the achievements and not just the setbacks. We can’t expect to go from no exercise to daily exercise without some setbacks. That expectation is unrealistic. Focus on what you DID accomplish and you are more likely to repeat that desired behavior leading to your goal achievement. It will take time and practice to achieve your goal and make it lasting. Be patient with yourself and celebrate the efforts and small achievements moving forward.

Choose a goal you are actually ready and willing to work towards

Many of us set goals we think we should accomplish, but do they matter to us? Are they something we are ready to work towards? For example, one may set a goal of forgiving an old hurt. However, if one is not ready to actually do the work necessary to forgive, let go, and heal it will be difficult to want to accomplish this goal. Maybe pick the first step of that goal. You may be willing to acknowledge one aspect of the hurt and forgive that, or work on processing it with a therapist. Forgiveness is a process, like achieving a goal, not a one-time event. Choose a goal to work towards that you are ready and willing to put the work into achieving, even just one small step at a time. We don’t climb a mountain in just one step. We climb it one small step at a time, and eventually, if we keep taking forward steps (no matter that sometimes we take backward steps or stop for a break) we will get to the top of the mountain and be able to enjoy the beautiful view of our achievements.

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Limit the number of goals you pick to work on

Many of us like to think big and may decide to redesign our whole life all at once. This can be overwhelming and unrealistic. By choosing the most important thing(s) you want to achieve, and limiting these to a realistic number, success is more likely. The more success we feel in our goal achievements, the more likely we will be to keep working towards this and other goals. We can have it all, just not all at the same time. Choose one goal and be successful, rather than 20 and be unsuccessful.

Believe you can accomplish your goal(s)

Believing in yourself is an all-important aspect of achieving one’s goals. Whether or not you believe you will succeed, you are right. Believe in yourself by setting yourself up to succeed, not fail. You do this by being realistic, choosing a manageable number of goals, chunk tasks into achievable measures, choosing what really matters, and work on it until you achieve it. Remember to build on the smallest of efforts and celebrate your successes (no matter how small) because practice makes permanent change. Take the first step. Make that step a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block, and keep going. Acknowledge your lack by recognizing that you are human, and then move forward again. No matter how many times you think you have failed, you have only truly failed when you quit trying.