Children, like adults, experience stress and trauma. However, the signs may not always be as clear, making it difficult for parents and caregivers to identify when a child’s behavior is a result of unresolved trauma. While every child responds to adversity differently, there are some common signs to look for, along with strategies for helping children open up about their experiences. Here, we’ll explore those signs, offer tips on supporting your child through their healing process, and discuss when it’s time to seek professional help.
Signs of Unresolved Trauma in Children
Trauma can stem from a variety of experiences, including accidents, loss of a loved one, bullying, abuse, or a family crisis. Children may not have the language or ability to express the emotional and psychological effects of these events. Instead, trauma often manifests through behaviors that seem unusual or out of character. Here are a few signs parents and caregivers can watch for:
1. Changes in Behavior or Personality
- A child who is typically outgoing may become withdrawn and anxious.
- A previously calm child may become unusually irritable, aggressive, or prone to temper tantrums.
- There may be a sudden difficulty in engaging with peers or family members.
- Dramatic changes in sleep patterns or a sudden refusal to sleep in their own room.
2. Difficulty with Concentration
- The child may struggle to focus on tasks such as homework or even simple activities like conversations or games.
- This inattention could be a result of a mind that is preoccupied with emotional distress or memories of traumatic events.
3. Physical Symptoms without Medical Explanation
- Unexplained stomachaches, headaches, or body aches can be common in children who are experiencing trauma.
- These symptoms may often appear in situations that remind them of the traumatic experience.
4. Regression
- Traumatized children may regress to behaviors they exhibited at earlier stages of development, such as thumb-sucking, bedwetting, or baby talk.
- This regression can be a child’s subconscious attempt to cope with stress by reverting to a safer and more comforting state.
5. Overreacting to Triggering Events
- Situations or reminders of the traumatic experience, such as loud noises, specific places, or certain activities, may cause the child to display intense emotional reactions.
- Fear or distress in response to innocuous stimuli is often a clear sign that a trauma response is at play.
6. Severe Mood Swings
- Children who have experienced trauma may struggle to regulate their emotions, leading to frequent emotional outbursts or a lack of emotional stability.
- These mood shifts can be puzzling for parents, but they often indicate a need for emotional processing and support.
How to Support a Child in Opening Up About Difficult Experiences
It can be challenging for a child to discuss a traumatic experience, especially when they don’t have the words to articulate what they’ve been through. Building trust, offering reassurance, and creating a safe space are essential first steps in helping a child begin to open up.
1. Create a Safe, Non-Judgmental Environment
- Ensure the child knows they are in a safe space where they won’t be judged, punished, or reprimanded for expressing themselves.
- Acknowledge their feelings without making them feel overwhelmed or invalidated.
2. Use Age-Appropriate Language
- It’s crucial to speak at a level that aligns with the child’s age and cognitive ability. For younger children, you can use stories, drawings, or play therapy to help them express what they’re feeling or experiencing.
- Older children may be more open to talking directly, so it can be helpful to use phrases like, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I’m here to listen when you feel ready.”
3. Validate Their Emotions
- Even if the child’s emotions seem out of proportion, be sure to validate their experience. Saying things like, “It makes sense that you feel scared,” or “I understand why you might feel sad,” can help a child know that their feelings are normal and acceptable.
4. Be Patient and Avoid Pressuring
- Every child processes trauma differently. Some children may need time and may not feel ready to open up. It’s important to be patient and avoid pressuring them into speaking before they’re ready.
- Instead, continue to provide consistent support and be available when they feel ready to share.
5. Encourage Creative Expression
- For children who find it hard to express their emotions verbally, encourage other forms of expression such as drawing, journaling, play, or engaging in music or dance. These activities can be a way for them to process and express emotions that may be hard to verbalize.
When to Seek Professional Help
While many children can benefit from emotional support provided by their caregivers, there are times when professional intervention is necessary. If you notice that the signs of trauma persist or worsen, or if your child’s behavior starts to interfere with their ability to function at home, school, or in relationships, it may be time to seek professional help.
Signs that professional intervention might be needed include:
- The trauma symptoms last for weeks or months without improvement.
- The child is unable to manage emotions and begins to engage in risky behaviors (such as substance use, self-harm, or violence).
- A child seems unable to cope with everyday tasks, such as going to school, or continues to isolate themselves from family and friends.
- Physical symptoms (like pain or illness) are persistent and medically unexplained.
- There are signs of severe anxiety, depression, or emotional numbing.
Therapists or counselors, such as Becoming Exceptional Healing Center & Resources, who specialize in children’s mental health can help children process traumatic experiences in healthy, productive ways. They may use specific approaches such as play or art therapy, sandtray therapy, puppet play or narrative therapy, CranioSacral Therapy, or family therapy to support your child in overcoming the effects of trauma.
Conclusion
Recognizing trauma in children can be difficult, but with attentive care, open communication, and the right support, children can begin to heal. By being aware of the signs of trauma, providing a safe and supportive environment, and knowing when to seek professional help, you can play an essential role in helping your child navigate through challenging experiences and come out stronger on the other side.
If you’re concerned about your child’s emotional well-being, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional mental health provider who can assess and provide tailored support. Healing from trauma takes time, but with the right help, children can regain their sense of safety and confidence.