Our systems, like plants, need certain elements to thrive. When deprived of necessary connection, engagement, and growth, we may suffer disease and dysfunction over time. Healing can occur through proper support, safety, and soothing self-care. The following elements can lead to healthier outcomes over time.
Light Shines Away the Darkness
We each physically need light to see, for health benefits, and for warmth. Without light, we remain in darkness. When children are deprived of healthy, loving connections and safe, supportive environments, it’s like trying to survive without light, remaining in darkness. Choosing to heal is like turning on the light or walking into the sunshine. There are aspects of our experiences that take on new meaning and which we understand differently when we see them more clearly after bringing them to light. This can be accomplished through personal research, gaining understanding about your own experiences, gathering more information about situations, or meeting with professionals who can bring to light aspects which may not have been understood or previously known.
Sometimes turning on the light can be scary. There may be things we don’t want to see, which seem safer in the dark (or beneath the surface). Yet, even though we can’t see something in the dark doesn’t mean it can’t still hurt us. We might trip over it in our ventures in the dark. It can become a stumbling block if we don’t remove it. We may not understand how come we keep stumbling if we aren’t willing to turn on the light and see what’s there. Be sure to turn on the light with sufficient support to manage those aspects which might, otherwise, seem overwhelming, confusing, or terrifying.
As long as things remain in the dark, they can’t be effectively managed or understood. Once we turn on the light and gain insights as to what’s there, we can then decide what to do with these aspects. Do we keep them, change them, or eliminate them? It’s our choice. The choice is easier if we can discern what it is we are dealing with, which is easier with the lights on.
Nutrients Build & Fortify
All living things need nourishment. Nutrients are substances that nourish us. We have physical, mental, emotional, and relational nutrient needs. Children or adults who are denied any aspect of these nourishing needs will suffer physical and emotional deficits in health, relationships, learning, and opportunities. With proper nutrients of love, connection, support, healthy coping strategies, empowering parenting practices and more, children will thrive in life because healthy, strong foundations have been built which will fortify them through the challenges of life. When those foundational nutrients are missing or offered in dysfunctional ways, it’s important to find ways to rebuild and fortify one’s abilities in a healthy manner. Even plants that have suffered neglect and insufficient nutrients can recover and go on the flourish. Sometimes we need a gardener, or other expert, to help us know what nutrients are missing and how to replenish them. This might entail understanding the gaps in our physical, mental, emotional and relational care thus far. It may mean finding healthy ways to provide for ourselves and those we care for. The more we fortify our defenses with healthful care and through proper skills we can increase our strength and growth over time.
In your building, be sure to connect with positive support systems such as family, trusted friends, spiritual or religious groups, community support groups, and/or physical and mental healthcare professionals. Engage strong boundaries to protect yourself from further hurt. This might require taking a break from certain individuals in your life, or eliminating them completely if necessary. Make sure you and any minors involved are safe, and that necessary safety measures are implemented for physical, mental and emotional safety. Increasing healthy self-care provides a necessary outlet and renewal time as this process continues. Self-care looks different for everyone. For some, it might mean increasing healthy connections while for others it might mean more alone time. It could be a massage, a new outfit, cuddle time, reading a book, being in nature, drawing, or any number of other activities that fill your bucket and bring you joy and peace. It’s okay to ask for help to ensure you’re getting enough self-care to manage the challenges that can come up when working through the healing process. Needs will ebb and flow across time, and that is normal and okay. Listen to your own needs and do your best to meet them.
Water Cleanses & Removes Toxins
Water helps a plant make and move more nutrients. It makes possible our able to receive light and process transformations. We need water to flush toxins from our systems. Our cells need it to function effectively. We, physically, need sufficient water to stay hydrated which helps with metabolism, cell function, brain function, flushing toxins, sleep, appetite, weight, and more. When our bodies are functioning at optimum, it’s easier for us to focus on emotional aspects. Many people, due to life experiences, have emotional ‘toxins,’ otherwise known as cell memory, body memories, trauma, PTSD, and the like. These emotional toxins impact our ability to function effectively in all areas of our lives. As we begin to remove these ‘toxins’ from our system, we may experience some cleansing effects which can be uncomfortable. This might be resurfacing memories, nightmares, flashbacks, or simply unidentifiable discomfort. Our emotions might be more sensitive or more easily agitated because we are dealing with a lot under the surface or processing through some challenging issues. Have patience. This will pass and we will feel lighter, cleaning, and healthier over time.
This cleansing may occur through self-awareness or via therapeutic modalities such as CranioSacral Therapy, Sandtray, Art or Talk Therapy.
Environmental Temperature Determines Outcome
Unfortunately, many people suffered from a lack of warmth in their growing-up environment. This may be due to a parent with a mental illness who is less able to connect and interact. It might occur when parents’ divorce, through childhood abuse of any kind, because of poor social interactions with peers, or a variety of other reasons. Nevertheless, we need warmth. We as humans are designed for connection. We need human contact in varying degrees. Some need more contact and in different ways than others. It’s important to recognize how you give and receive connection and love as this will tell you a lot about how best to approach the healing process. If your childhood environment was cool, or downright cold, for any reason that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to create a warm, inviting environment for your loved ones. However, it may require some healing, skill-building, and greater understanding of what warmth is and feels like. If you’ve never had it, it’s challenging to create it. Search out those around you who have the warmth and affection you desire for yourself. Model their behaviors. Seek out a professional who can teach you skills, help warm up those cold spots, and improve your outcomes over time.
Space Opens Opportunities for Growth
All living things need space. For example, a plant’s roots need space so they can spread out and absorb water and nutrients. Their leaves need space to absorb light. As humans, we need space too. We may need space when we’re upset so we can calm down on our own. This might mean walking away from conflict, or spending time in one’s room to calm down. We may need space to dream, to create, to play, to make mistakes, and to suffer the consequences of our poor choices so we learn to make better choices. When we aren’t give the space to learn lessons, to feel remorse or empathy, or to make mistakes without judgement it’s hard to thrive. Playing helps each of us, especially children, act out possibilities, model behaviors to see what they feel like, and to connect and create with others.
Healing also needs space and time. We may need the space to understand ourselves. We might need space to NOT BE OKAY for a while, whatever that looks like. Being a little dysfunctional at times might actually lead to growth. I sometimes tell parents that things might actually look worse for a while. This can be a good sign. It may mean kids are feeling safe enough to allow themselves to feel, to process, and to work through the pain or challenges they’re dealing with. Healing and learning can look messy, that’s why we get to make messes in my playroom. It can be a great aspect of the healing process. Like decluttering often leads to bigger messes before it looks organized, healing can also look or feel like a bigger mess while processing through the hard things. Not always, but sometimes. And that’s okay!
Growth through Healing Elements
When choosing to begin or continue your healing process, be sure to let in enough light or insights to chase away the darkness. Build and fortify with sufficient nutrients such as positive support systems, safety measures, and self-care. Add in the proper amount of cleansing old toxins with refreshing supports. Engage in enough warmth and connection to provide a secure network of caring individuals to provide a warm, inviting environment in your present circumstances. Give yourself the space to heal, whatever that looks like for you and however long that takes. Making sure you have all the right ingredients to thrive will ensure a more successful process and outcomes.
If you have experienced trauma or childhood abuse and desire to heal, please reach out to BECOMING EXCEPTIONAL HEALING CENTER & RESOURCES today.
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